Another Saturday.

So yesterday M. found out he's losing his job in 6 months. This isn't a suprise or a shock because he's known for awhile that this might happen. M.'s paycheck is 95% based on federal grants received and 5% on our state budget. Our state budget is currently in deficit and the federal grant money is running out quickly.

I have mixed feelings on this.

On one hand, I hope that losing his job will make M. get the hell out of the place he works now. He's worked there, in different departments, for 10 years or so. He hates working for them because it's a drone-ish job with no merit-based anything. You're lucky if someone tells you "good job" once a year. What M. really wants to do has to do with geography, either as a professor of Geography (which requires a doctorate) or getting into the GIS (Geographic Information Systems) industry and working for local non-profits or city governments as an urban planner. He is extremely well suited for either of these professions. He knows more about geography, especially ethnic and cultural geography, than anyone I've ever met. He loves it more than he loves his luggage.

On the other hand, the economy is crap right now. Jobs are hard to come by and if he doesn't find one, we have about 2 months of expenses in our savings account. It's not much, but we've been working on paying down debt, which is better IMHO. If M. does lose his job in May, then I will have about 1/2 the amount of CC debt than I have right now. I can make minimum payments, if need be, so save money so we can afford to keep our house. It's doable, just not preferable.

The other thing this affects is our TTC plans. Right now, we are still TTC. We don't want to put that off any longer. The pragmatic side of my head, however, is saying, "What happens if M. doesn't get a job?! How will you afford a baby? How will you pay for it's insurance?" That's my biggest fear. The insurance. It may sound weird, but right now I'm more worried about getting my kid on an affordable insurance plan than where their daycare will be. Adding children to M.'s current insurance is MUCH cheaper than mine. By "MUCH", I mean something like $400/month. If M. loses his job, will his next job have such great insurance? I doubt it. I don't even know where to start looking for insurance stuff. I guess an insurance company. I hate dealing with insurance companies, though.

It drives me batty not knowing what's going on. I'd rather his employer just lay M. off now so we can move on and do what we need to do.

M. is also starting Weight Watchers again today. I am not. I'm still struggling with not smoking and I'm not ready to be that regimented in my lifestyle choices. Besides, who's going to eat the gigantic bowl of candy on our dining room table if M.'s on WW? :) I'm hoping that just eating what he's eating will help me lose a bit of weight. I'm going to be staying with my modified WW and just focusing on getting in my 8 Healthy Guidelines a day and watching my portion sizes instead of focusing on the points values of food. Chocolate is my BFF right now. I can't give it up.

Oh, and we're definitely a wash for this month's TTC adventures. AF is due this coming Friday and we've had sex once, on CD8. I doubt I was ovulating that early.