Because I know you're all waiting at the edge of your seats about this.
So I smoked 7 cigarettes and threw the rest of the pack away. I physically feel horrible. I'm headachy and I've thrown up 3 times. You wanted to know that, I'm sure. Of course, as soon as I started yaking my first thought was "MORNING SICKNESS." It's not, though.
I got an additional 15 minutes of sleep after laying in bed for four hours, so I'm feeling somewhat refreshed.
M. just got home and he's currently getting ready for us to go back out again. It's tradition in our household that on any three day weekend, we do the following on Sunday night.
1. Dinner at Charlie's on Capital Hill.
2. Compline service at St. Mark's Cathedral.
We both love this tradition, so it's helping me keep focus right now. M. has been great this morning. Very understanding and kind of a hard-ass about getting me out of the house so I won't be tempted.
Now we just need to figure out something to do until 7 PM when we go to dinner. I'm voting for the SAM or reading at the Gothic Reading Room at the Suzzallo library at UW. Because I'm a nerd.
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Don't beat yourself up lady!! Smoking is one of the hardest addictions to break. Just think about it. You aren't in an altered state, you aren't high, or feeling good, yet this damn monkey had a hold of you like nobody's business.
ReplyDeleteYou need the slip ups. They suck, they make you feel like shit. But you need them. They are what make you grow, and they are what make you finally kick this evil habit's butt, once and for all.
The fact that they made you sick is a great sign. It means that you almost have this thing licked, and aversion therapy is one of the best brain retraining methods out there. Keep up the work. It is hard as hell, but you can do it. I KNOW YOU CAN. I have been there too!!
((Big huge hugs to you lady))
Katie